How to change your image from small-town, bad-boy, hard-drinking, hard-fighting high school dropout to future son-in-law of the Republican Party’s next great hope.
Step 1: Get yourself a haircut and shave. Accept that your hotness will be commented on by straight women and gay men everywhere.
Step 2: Buy a suit — one that fits well.
Step 3: Stay out of the media until you are off the blow figure out how to work them so that they call you “soft-spoken” instead of the “fuckin’ redneck” you called yourself on MySpace and go on and on about your muscular build and general Alaskan manliness.
Step 4: dismiss said MySpace page ramblings as a joke and just playin’ around
Step 5: Continue to affirm your forever love for your pregnant 17-year-old girlfriend and your total excitement at being a married father at the age of 18.
Good job. Consider yourself rehabbed.
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Too… many… knee-jerk… liberal… reactions… can’t… think…
I’ll just say good post and leave it at that.
Until your girlfriend’s mama loses the election and you can dump the act and go back to being the low life your MySpace page proved you to be.
(Though considering the number of shotguns her family owns, you’d probably better not dump the girl)