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And here we go again people.  Nothing matters tonight except Sarah Palin.  Don’t think that anyone is watching for any other reason.

And try your best to avoid the random camera shots of large white men dancing badly. Scarier than Rudy Guiliani.

These “minor” speakers (Meg Whitman, the non-voting representative from Puerto Rico, some other guy) keep harping on McCain’s honor.  And yet, somehow, Keating Five doesn’t get mentioned.  Democrats, I think it’s about time we remind America of what exactly the big deal was.

Everyone is anticipating Palin’s speech tonight.  Make no mistake, it is a huge deal.  Her entire political fortune will be made on this speech.  Remember, this is the first time that most of America will be introduced to her and she is either going to rise like Barack Obama or sink like Dan Quayle (Remember him?  Didn’t think so.).

Jim Lehrer and that guy who isn’t David Brooks are talking about EBay and computers.  Again, these guys make themselves sound really, really old.  It’s cute, their puzzlement about it all.  Sadly, this is probably Lehrer’s last convention … he’s having a hard time keeping everything straight.

Last night I made some comment about seeing the same three African-Americans in the audience.  Turns out that’s because there are a total of 36 African-American delegates at the convention.  That’s not 36%, that’s 36 people total.  Which is about 1.5% of the total delegate body.

Meg Whitman, Carly Fiorina  … it’s the businesswomen’s turn to carry the McCain banner like Laura Bush did last night.  But Carly isn’t getting a whole lot of love from the audience.  What’s going on?

Carly says that John believes that institutions of wealth must be transparent to the American public.  Except I guess when it comes to his wife.

OK, what’s funny about McCain’s cap-and-trade system for emissons is that the Republican Party (in their platform) is actually against any government intervention in the markets to solve global warming.

Carly just called McCain the future of the Republican Party.  The man is 72 years old.  He isn’t the future of anything.  Maybe that’s why she didn’t get any applause.

Now it’s Michael Steele’s turn.  The RNC is keeping the white men until primetime apparently.

There’s a serious disconnect in what Steele is saying and what the reality of the current Republican Party is all about.  Sure, John McCain probably does believe that government shouldn’t be so powerful that it tramples on the rights of individuals, but that’s not what the current Republican Party practices.

At least he’s getting the crowd worked up.  All worked up for Mitt Romney.  Who has got to be feeling a wee bit bitter tonight.

And Mitt Romney opens with some babble about east and the sun setting and now the sun rises in the West … I don’t know.  I’d think he’s drunk if he weren’t Mormon.

Rommey just said that government spending doubled since 1980 and that was the liberal’s fault.  Hello?  Weren’t the Republicans in power for 20 of those 28 years?

George Bush is liberal, if we are going to use Romney’s definitions of the word.

Ok. Now it’s just starting to piss me off when the Republicans talk about Constitutional freedoms and small government.  Which they have spent the last 8 years totally negating.

Oh, I get it.  This is a very subtle way of blaming George Bush without actually mentioning him by name.  I think.

So the 8pm hour was about the women who could have been McCain’s No. 2.  The 9pm apparently belongs to the men who could have been McCain’s No. 2 — Romney, Huckabee, Guiliani.  Every single one of those is already thinking about 2012.

At least Huckabee has a sense of humor about his disappointment.  And about the GOP decisiveness.  I can see why Iowans really liked him.  And with the Madonna jokes … he’s killing them.  Wow.  Mitt Romney came across as mean, angry Republican.  Mike Huckabee comes off as genial, former fat guy who just wants to shoot the shit with you and loves Jesus.

Interesting.  Huckabee is basically saying that Obama is basing his campaign on his race.  I think Cornel West would disagree.

And here’s the “Americans want less government, not more” theme again.  Yes, I would like less government.  Could you let your guy currently in the White House know that.  And the Dark Lord.

The big applause line of the night so far: the comment that Sarah Palin is more qualified than Joe Biden because more people elected her mayor of Wasilla then voted for Biden in the presidential race.

OMG.  I thought Huckabee said Negroes.  But he really said “neat rows.”  He should have enunciated better.

That big laugh line about Biden getting less votes than Palin?  I know this comes as a surprise but it’s totally untrue.  Biden got 15,000 votes in Florida alone.  And apparently about 4,000 in New York.

I don’t know who this woman talking is but she should not bring up the fact that Palin flew a plane from Texas to Alaska while in premature labor.  With a special needs baby.  On coach.  And didn’t let flight attendants know she was pregnant.  And then drove 45 minutes away from the best maternity hospital in the state to deliver.  That doesn’t make her tough.  That makes her … reckless?  insane?  scary?

Yes, there are many small towns in America.  But we aren’t nominating their mayors for vice-presidents.

Has anyone noticed how the population of Wasilla keeps growing every time it’s mentioned.  I swear that Friday it only had 5,000 people in it and suddenly it’s a metropolis of 10,000.

Oh, she’s the governor of Hawaii!  And she used to be a mayor.  So why isn’t she the VP pick?  She’s got the same qualifications as Palin.

McCain picking Palin reminds us that he is a maverick.  That’s supposed to be a good thing.  And it reminds us that Washington is broken.  Apparently it’s been broken as long as McCain has been a Senator I guess.

Oooh … here’s comes the hunky Mr. Palin.  Clearly, I should have taken Men in Trees more seriously.

Here comes Giuliani.  You know there’s a drinking game out there involving him and September 11, right?

Are we seriously going to go over the McCain bio again?!  Is there anyone anywhere who can’t recite it by heart by now?

Oh my god.  Did the audience just boo Obama’s community organization experience?  Assholes!  Because it’s so much less than being the freaking PTA president.

OK.  Giuliani is saying that Obama has never led a city or a community or whatever.  But McCain hasn’t either.

Boy, Giuliani is getting it out there.  He’s the attack dog.  Man. It’s vicious.  It’s nasty.  It’s so New York. Is Palin going to beat this?

Good line though: Change is not a destination just like hope is not a strategy.  Damn.  That dress-wearing, twice-divorced, thrice-married New York City mayor is quite effective.  The crowd is riled up and wanting blood.

Ohhh .. there was almost a 9/11 reference.  Take a half-shot.

You know, not every war has a winner and a loser.  Sometimes, there are only losers.

Most Americans have no idea that Rudy Giuliani is not talking about the Georgia that’s next to Florida.  Even the delegates look confused.  “We are all Georgians.” The Texas delegates immediately want to storm the stage in protest.

Judith Nathan Giuliani keeps a steely-faced smile on her.  She must be dipping into Cindy’s meds.  I could use some of those meds right now.  Giuliani is making me want to throw things at my TV. Seriously, I can see why New Yorkers can’t stand him.

You know, I totally agree with the statement that we shouldn’t be asking about Palin being able to take care of kids and be VP.  And he’s right that we wouldn’t be asking that question if she were a guy.  It’s just kind of ironic that I think the people asking that question were the very people that McCain was hoping to get with the Palin pick.

And now I officially and completely don’t care if the Xcel Center explodes into a fiery bright light right now. As long as Giuliani is at the epicenter. Hunky Alaskans be damned. Except maybe Bristol’s poor, sad face will save them.

And here it comes.

Oh, distraction.  Is that Levi?  ’cause he looks really good in that 18-year-old, bad boy from a small town way.

Poor kid also looks a little overwhelmed.  Welcome to the rest of your long, painful, choice-limited life, buddy.  Makes you wish you had remembered that condom now I bet.

If I hear that “rather lose an election than lose a war” line one more time, I’m starting a new drinking game.

OK.  You can’t say that kids are out of bounds and then use them in your speeches.  Track looks a little nervous at the mention that he’ll be in harm’s way.  Don’t worry.  If Obama wins, you won’t be there as long.

Shouldn’t that baby be in bed by now.  It’s like 9:30pm in Minnesota.

Seriously. Stop mentioning your kids.  Stop using special needs kids as a political applause line.  That’s wrong. Just wrong.  Put the kid to bed and start talking about policy.

Tina Fey is going to kill as Palin on SNL this fall.  Kill!

OK … little Willow licking her hand to smooth down her brother’s hair was pretty damn cute.  Almost as cute as the Obama kids.

Palin is now going to explain what it means to be a small-town mayor.  Please let this not take very long. And again with the slam on community organizers.  Do no Republicans work for community organizations?  Or there no social workers out there?  I’d be careful about slamming community organizers … they’re the ones that drive voters to the polls.  Voters who tend not to vote for you.

Oh, the job description of small-town mayor is apparently very short because she didn’t talk about it at all.

Strong audience response to “liberal media” and MSNBC apparently is quite hated.  Lots and lots of boos.  Because when your message is confused and your base is worried and your moderates are floundering, blame the media.  It gives the GOP something to be against.  Hate on Keith Olbermann instead of the thousand other issues we could be talking about.

She brings up how she was against the Bridge to Nowhere.  The problem is that there is evidence that she was for it before she was against it.  She’s going to need to answer that question eventually.  Maybe at the debates?

I don’t know if this is a good line considering her husband belonged to a political organization that wanted Alaska to secede from the Union. It sort of smacks of nationalization.  it also doesn’t mention that she instituted a state windfall tax on the oil companies.  Honey, you can’t have it both ways; if you’re against the oil companies you need to say how (windfall taxes) or stop talking in generalities.

When oil and gas prices went up dramatically, and filled up the state treasury, I sent a large share of that revenue back where it belonged - directly to the people of Alaska.  And despite fierce opposition from oil company lobbyists, who kind of liked things the way they were, we broke their monopoly on power and resources. As governor, I insisted on competition and basic fairness to end their control of our state and return it to the people.

Nice mention of opening ANWR.  Nice avoidance of the fact that McCain disagrees with opening ANWR.

Sarah Palin: doesn’t believe in basic civil liberties.  Good to know.

Lies.  Lies.  Lies.  More lies. Damned lies.

So all this talk about victory and not leaving before we’ve won and blah, blah, blah… didn’t Bush just announce a drawdown? Am I imagining that?

And again with the slam on organizing … are there no community organizers in Anchorage?  Those VISTA volunteers aren’t heading to Ketchikan, Alaska, for spring break.  Isn’t community organizing all about service and Country First?  Where’s this coming from?

And it’s over.  Finally.  Now here comes the family.  Man.  Those are some good-looking guys up there.  Sorry!  But it’s true.  Put that kid to bed.  Seriously. Or at least put him in a babybjorn.  And here comes McCain … which would be a bigger surprise if Obama hadn’t done it last week.

Her speech was effective and fulfilled its purpose in introducing her to America.  But it was not nice … it was derogatory and mocking although not even close to being as mean and nasty as Giuliani and Romney.  This is the party of Lincoln.  These people — who showed videos of Martin Luther King Jr and Rosa Parks — derided community organizing.  The party of Teddy Roosevelt who created our National Parks system is shouting “drill, baby, drill.”  What is wrong with America?  This is a party who is all about the possibility that anyone can become someone in America and then proceeds to mock a shining example of it.  That’s just wrong.

The takeaway themes of the nights:

• Community organizing is somehow to be mocked.  Next time someone has a choice between working for a high-powered law firm or working in the trenches, choose the law firm I guess. Which I thought was mean and small-minded (bitter, even).  And it shows the GOP in a nasty, nasty light.  Is this really what they wanted the independents to see?  Even David Brooks thinks it was harsh.
• John McCain was a prisoner of war.  Did you know that?  Oh, and he would rather lose an election than lose the war.  So he might end up not winning either. Hope that’s OK for him.
• Republicans hate everybody.  And Romney and Giuliani apparently really, really hate everybody.  Especially liberals.  Despite the fact that they — once upon a time — used to be considered moderate.  Which is, of course, before they started running for the 2012 ticket.

Best random live blogging nugget is from Wonkette’s coverage of the Mitt Romney speech:

The liberals want to keep pornography in schools. Is that a problem these days, with the children? All we know about schools is that Republican VP daughters tend to get pregnant in them. Pornography in schools sounds like a safe, masturbatory alternative.

There is only one day left.  One day.  Please let me make it.