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The Setup: Last night. I’m on the Acela, in the quiet car.  I choose the quiet car — no cell phones, no talking, no noise except keyboard tapping and light breathing allowed — in order to avoid drama. I have a book that is clearly  not going to hold my interest during the 3 hour trip.

Player 1: In New York, a young guy (late 20s, early 30s) gets on.  He looks good — like a slender Tiki Barber, shaved head and all (yummy!).  He sits down across the aisle from me.

Player 2: The train begins to move and the conductor — who is good looking in that solid-man-in-uniform way — comes down the aisle to punch our tickets.

First Contact: There’s some confusion when Slender Tiki Barber (STB) hands Conductor the ticket. Something drops or spills or rips.  Joking around ensues, laughs of “send me the bill,” ha ha, everyone is relaxed.

Action: Conductor comes by again and jokes with STB.  And then again.  Annoying because he’s violating the quiet car rules.  And then he comes by again.  The quiet car was designed for no flirting, people.  NO FLIRTING!   And then again.  So now I’m intrigued.  Clearly our outgoing, friendly Conductor (who is not being friendly with anyone else on the train) is a wee bit smitten with our STB.  And who can blame him?  Did I mention STB’s gorgeous eyes?  No?  Well, my bad.

The Ongoing Action: And again.  This time, there’s some information swapping.  Where are you from?  Come to DC often?  Then again.  This time, there’s the guy touch.  You know the one — the shoulder slap-tap that’s just an excuse to cop a feel of some delts and/or pecs. And finally, I’m starting to root for Conductor and his pursuit, even though STB isn’t giving him much to go on.  And again. How long you in DC for? Just tomorrow. Conductor walks away.  He walks through a couple more times but doesn’t stop to talk although he keeps looking. STB doesn’t look up.

The Ongoing Concern: Just give him your freaking number already!  Geez.  The suspense is killing me.  Plus, we’re almost in DC, it’s been a long day and I need a happy ending here, people!

The Resolution: Oh thank god.  DC is announced, everyone gathers their stuff together, stands up, moves to the doors.  STB takes his time and Conductor approaches. There’s some chit-chat: I take this train all the time. I’m normally on the morning shift. Oh, I ride in the morning too. (I bet you do!).  Is that … can it be … yes, we have a number exchange!

The Closing Credits: And after some final flirting, off into the night we go, STB, Conductor and me.  Separately.  But who knows what tomorrow brings. Good luck boys.