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By this time Monday, every woman and New-York gay in America will have seen the movie Sex and The City. Seriously. This thing is going to make a bazillion dollars. It’s insane! And I’m going to see it too.

Because I am a tool to corporate America and its commercialized onscreen romances.

But I already have mixed feelings and am pre-disposed to not like the film.

The series had a purpose, originally: it was about friendship and being young in the city and possibility. It was about forgetting where you were from, creating something brand new. Think it was an accident that we never met their families or had any idea where they came from before they were here? Nope. With one exception, these women came to us like Athena out of Zeus’ forehead.

But by the end, the show lost its way. It ended up being about how to get Mr. Big. And it ended up being about Carrie and her narcissism and her inability to choose the decent guys, instead ending up with assholes like Big and the Russian. Which is something, frankly, most of us grew out of by the age of 30 (well, except for that one .. oh, and that other one).

And while I liked the series closings for the other women, I really, really wanted Carrie to end up single … and be OK with it. After all, the series wasn’t called Married and the City.

Sadly, it was not to be. And I’m afraid the movie will perpetuate that even more. Which will annoy me.

So maybe I’ll skip the movie. Oh, who the hell am I kidding. Of course I’m going to see the movie. But then after, maybe I’ll rewatch my two favorite episodes from the series to get rid of the taste of Cosmos and Louis Vuitton:

1. Season 4:56 (”My Motherboard, My Self)

Miranda is in Philadelphia visiting her mother after a heart attack. Her mom dies while she’s there and the friends go up for the funeral.

Best scene: Miranda breaking down in the arms of a saleswoman while trying to find a black bra to wear with her funeral dress (because she didn’t pack one because she didn’t know she’d be going to a funeral).

Best friends moment: when Miranda is following the casket down the church aisle alone and feeling very …. well, single … and Carrie jumps up and walks down with her.

2. Season 4:59 (”Coulda, Shoulda, Woulda”)

Miranda (again!) is pregnant after pity sex with the one-balled Steve. Charlotte however can’t get pregnant at all. When Miranda talks about her decision to get an abortion, Charlotte does not reacts well. After coming out of the fertility specialist, Charlotte meets Miranda in the street where Miranda tries to reassure her. Charlotte informs her that she has a 15% chance of getting pregnant naturally and Miranda should just leave her alone. Miranda goes to the clinic with Carrie and expresses some doubts. Later, the girls gather round her and Charlotte comes in with flowers and they all promise to support her decision to keep the baby.

Best scene: Miranda and Carrie talk about their scary age — the age where it’s too late. Miranda’s is 38, I think. Carrie’s is 42. Mine is 36.

Best friends moment: Charlotte walks down the street and Miranda follows behind without saying a word. Because that’s what friends do — when you say you want to be left alone, they leave you alone but they don’t really leave you alone.

And that is the last I’m going to say about Sex and The City. Ever.