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Looking over the Oscar nominees, I was surprised to see August Rush nominated for anything. I mean, it was pretty bad right? Not Norbit bad, but still … pretty bad. So I guess it makes sense that its only pick should be for best song. Except no one saw the movie so I can’t imagine it will win.

But it made me think. Since 1935, Oscars have been given for the Best Original Song (”The Continental” from the Gay Divorcee in case you cared). Are the Oscars better at picking songs than movies? Do the songs they pick remain classics? Was there anything worth rewarding in the 70s and the 80s? Really?

I’m going to randomly start with 1970. 1969 was good but I don’t have the time to parse 73 years or so of songs. Maybe if I get really bored some day. But that’s not today.

1970: Pretty typical lineup with some familiar faces — Elmer Bernstein, Alan Bergman, Fred Karlin. Trust me, there won’t be anything much more exciting than this for a while. Eventual winner: Burt Bacharach’s “Raindrops Keep Falling on My Head.” Should Have Won: “Raindrops Keep Falling on My Head.” I mean, who doesn’t love that song.

• Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid: “Raindrops Keep Fallin’ on My Head“
• The Happy Ending: “What Are You Doing for the Rest of Your Life?”
• The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie: “Jean”
• The Sterile Cuckoo: “Come Saturday Morning“
• True Grit: “True Grit“

1972: The Oscar song winner won’t be cool again for a really, really long time. Eventual Winner: Shaft. Should Have Won: Shaft

• Shaft:”Theme from Shaft“
• Bedknobs and Broomsticks: “The Age of Not Believing“
• Bless the Beasts & Children: “Bless the Beasts and the Children“
• Kotch: “Life Is What You Make It”
• Sometimes a Great Notion: “All His Children”

1979: They picked that particular Grease song? Why not this one? Or this one? Or even this one? Ah, because they couldn’t (see The Coal Miner’s Daughter rule, 1981). Eventual winner: Donna Summer’s “Last Dance.” Should Have Won: “You’re The One That I Want” from Grease.

• Thank God It’s Friday: “Last Dance“
• Foul Play: “Ready to Take a Chance Again”
• Grease: “Hopelessly Devoted to You“
• The Magic of Lassie: “When You’re Loved”
• Same Time, Next Year: “The Last Time I Felt Like This“

1980: Does anyone remember the Norma Rae song? No. I can’t find a single YouTube video of it. Which song do we remember? Sing it with me, folks (but you have to use the funny voice)… “why are there so many songs about rainbows and what’s on the other side?” Eventual winner: “It Goes Like It Goes.” Should Have Won: “Through the Eyes of Love” (hello, it’s like the perfect cheesy song … nothing says 1980 better).

• Norma Rae: “It Goes Like It Goes”
• 10: “It’s Easy to Say”
• Ice Castles: “Through the Eyes of Love“
• The Muppet Movie: “The Rainbow Connection“
• The Promise: “I’ll Never Say ‘Goodbye’”

1981: Not the first (see 1979) but certainly illustrative of the restrictions that surround song eligibility requirements for this Award, which shall henceforth in this blog be known as The Coal Miner’s Daughter Rule. To wit:

An original song consists of words and music, both of which are original and written specifically for the film. There must be a clearly audible, intelligible, substantive rendition (not necessarily visually presented) of both lyric and melody, used in the body of the film or as the first music cue in the end credits. … The work must be recorded for use in the film prior to any other usage, including public performance or exploitation through any media whatsoever.

So, no “Coal Miner’s Daughter,” no “One’s on the Way,” no “The Pill. ” On the other hand, these are some great nominees so I won’t begrudge any of them. Eventual Winner: Irene Cara’s “Fame.” Should Have Won: Seriously, any of them would be great (except maybe that “People Alone” song) but I do love me some Dolly.

• Fame: “Fame“
• The Competition: “People Alone“
• Fame: “Out Here on My Own“
• Honeysuckle Rose: “On the Road Again“
• Nine to Five: “Nine to Five“

1983: Alan and Marilyn Bergman (lyricists) were nominated this particular year for 3 songs from 3 different movies (Tootsie, Yes, Giorgio, Best Friends). That’s pretty impressive. But not impressive enough. Who could resist Richard Gere in his whites sweeping Debra Winger off her feet. Come on, that’s the epitome of sentimental romance. Plus, it’s Buffy Saint-Marie. Eventual Winner: “Love Lifts Us Up Where We Belong.” Should Have Won: “Probably It Might Be You” from Tootsie but “Eye of the Tiger” is irresistible.

• An Officer and a Gentleman: “Up Where We Belong“
• Best Friends: “How Do You Keep the Music Playing?”
• Rocky III: “Eye of the Tiger“
• Tootsie: “It Might Be You“
• Yes, Giorgio: “If We Were In Love”

1984: The popular Bergmans make another appearance (twice but this time for the same movie — Yentl) but still can’t bring it home. “Papa Can You Hear Me” has now become so firmly enmeshed with Will & Grace moments that I just don’t think I can ever see it as anything but funny. Eventual Winner: Irene Cara (again) for “Flashdance,” Should Have Won: I can’t quibble with the Flashdance choice. I want to but I can’t.

• Flashdance: “Flashdance…What a Feeling“
• Flashdance: “Maniac“
• Tender Mercies: “Over You“
• Yentl: “Papa, Can You Hear Me?“
• Yentl: “The Way He Makes Me Feel“

1985: Can someone tell me why nothing from Purple Rain was nominated this year? Are any of these nominees below better than the worst song on the Purple Rain soundtrack. Hello? Anyone? Eventual Winner: Stevie Wonder and “I Just Called to Say I Love You.” Should Have Won: anything off of Prince’s Purple Rain.

• The Woman in Red: “I Just Called to Say I Love You“
• Against All Odds: “Against All Odds (Take a Look at Me Now)“
• Footloose: “Footloose“
• Footloose: “Let’s Hear It for the Boy“
• Ghost Busters: “Ghostbusters“

1987: There are songs on this list that make me shudder. I’ll let you figure out which ones they are. Eventual Winner: Berlin’s “Take My Breath Away.” Should Have Won:”Mean Green Mothers From Outer Space.”

• Top Gun: “Take My Breath Away“
• An American Tail: “Somewhere Out There“
• The Karate Kid II: “Glory of Love“
• Little Shop of Horrors: “Mean Green Mother from Outer Space“
• That’s Life!: “Life in a Looking Glass”

1988: This might have been the first time I actually cared at the time who won the song. I do remember being torn. Is it weird to equally love two things as different as Dirty Dancing and The Princess Bride? But man, the 80s were rough musically … To say “Shakedown” was one of the best original songs of 1988 is damning with faint praise. Eventual Winner: Nobody-puts-Baby-in-a-corner “I’ve Had the Time of My Life.” Should Have Won: Probably “Cry Freedom” or “Storybook Love” but as long as it wasn’t that hideous song from Mannequin, I don’t care.

• Dirty Dancing: “(I’ve Had) The Time of My Life“
• Beverly Hills Cop II: “Shakedown“
• Cry Freedom: “Cry Freedom”
• Mannequin: “Nothing’s Gonna Stop Us Now“
• The Princess Bride: “Storybook Love”

1993: This is a great example of the split personality the Oscar song category can have. A little of the traditional musical approach, a couple of “pop” songs — the schmaltzier the better — and then the token good song that doesn’t have a chance in hell of winning. Let’s call it The Bodyguard Rule. Eventual Winner: “A Whole New World.” Should Have Won: Whitney’s cover of Dolly Parton’s “I Will Always Love You” (Ineligible. See The Coal Miner’s Daughter rule) But because we can’t have everything, at least go with the least annoying song of the bunch and choose “Beautiful Marie of My Soul.”

• Aladdin: “A Whole New World“
• Aladdin: “Friend Like Me“
• The Bodyguard: “I Have Nothing“
• The Bodyguard: “Run to You“
• The Mambo Kings: “Beautiful Maria of My Soul“

1995: The Lion King Exception (also known as the Beauty and the Beast Exception). You can win even with three songs from your movie nominated if the nominated songs not from your movie suck. Eventual Winner: “Can You Feel the Love Tonight.” Should Have Won: I actually like “Circle of Life” a little better but don’t care enough to fuss.

• The Lion King: “Can You Feel the Love Tonight“
• The Lion King: “Circle of Life“
• The Lion King: “Hakuna Matata“
• Junior: “Look What Love Has Done”
• The Paper: “Make Up Your Mind”

1998: One of the finest examples of The BodyGuard Rule. It’s one of the great and true Oscar tragedies that Eliot Smith’s “Miss Misery” lost to the juggernaut that was “My Heart Will Go On.” Even watching the live performances, your heart still wants to break for poor, sad Elliot Smith as that scary, skinny lady with the hideous diamond necklace blasted all before her in the musical equivalent of a tsunami. Eventual Winner: “My Heart Will Go On”. Should Have Won: “Miss Misery”

• Titanic: “My Heart Will Go On“
• Anastasia: “Journey To The Past“
• Con Air: “How Do I Live“
• Good Will Hunting: “Miss Misery”
• Hercules: “Go The Distance“

2000: There was no way “Blame Canada” was going to win. No way. I mean, a song that insults Ann Murray, Canadians and has swearing in it. Please. But still, it should have. Eventual Winner: Phil Collin’s “You’ll Be in My Heart.” Should Have Won: South Park’s “Blame Canada” (but I would have been willing to take Amie Mann’s “Save Me” in it’s place)

• Tarzan: “You’ll Be In My Heart“
• Magnolia: “Save Me“
• Music of the Heart: “Music Of My Heart“
• South Park: Bigger Longer & Uncut: “Blame Canada“
• Toy Story 2: “When She Loved Me“

2001: This was the year that perennial bridesmaid Randy Newman broke his 15-nomination losing streak. But I have to tell you, this list of nominees is is so what’s been historically wrong with this category. Paul McCartney, Sting, Diane Warren (DIANE WARREN, people). Who’s coming up with this list? My grandmother? Eventual Winner: Randy Newman’s “If I Didn’t Have You.” Should Have Won: Enya’s “May it Be” (if only because she isn’t the other four)

• Monsters, Inc.:”If I Didn’t Have You”
• Kate & Leopold: “Until“
• The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring: “May It Be“
• Pearl Harbor: “There You’ll Be“
• Vanilla Sky: “Vanilla Sky”

2003: Chicago has some great songs but the song they nominated … eh, not so great. The problem here is, naturallyThe Coal Miner’s Daughter Rule. Think about those songs that could have been: “All That Jazz,” “Cell Block Tango,” “When You’re Good to Mama,” “Cellophane Man.” It’s sad really.

But it doesn’t matter.

Because this, folks, was the year of the great cultural paradigm shift. Yes, Babs herself — the classic, maybe slightly old-fashioned representative of the classic pop standards of yesteryear — has to choke out Eminem’s name. Let’s not underestimate his win; not only was he up against Kander and Ebb (songwriting team of incredible renown) but U2 and Paul Simon. U2. That’s huge. But right. Not only is it a great song but it is completely intertwined with the movie’s narrative. It is the movie’s narrative. It’s also the first time in 14 years that a Song winner was not performed at the Oscar ceremony. Eventual winner: “Lose Yourself.” Should Have Won: “Lose Yourself.”

• 8 Mile: “Lose Yourself“
• Chicago: “I Move On“
• Frida: “Burn It Blue”
• Gangs of New York: “The Hands That Built America“
• The Wild Thornberrys Movie: “Father and Daughter”

2004: I have nothing to say. I love every single one of these songs. But if you haven’t seen The Triplets of Belleville, you must Netflix it immediately. Right now. Go. Eventual Winner: Annie Lennox sings “Into the West”

• The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King: “Into the West“
• Cold Mountain: “Scarlet Tide”
• Cold Mountain: “You Will Be My Ain True Love“
• A Mighty Wind: “A Kiss at the End of the Rainbow“
• Les Triplettes de Belleville: “Belleville Rendez-Vous“

2006: They couldn’t even find 5 songs this year?! Was Randy Newman on strike or something? And why the hell didn’t “A Love that Will Never Grow Old” from Brokeback Mountain get nominated. It won a Golden Globe for heaven’s sake. But that’s OK because Three 6 Mafia owned this one. I love Dolly but I couldn’t remember her song for the life of me while I can still sing the whole chorus to “It’s Hard Out Here for a Pimp.” Eventual Winner: “It’s Hard Out Here for a Pimp.” Should Have Won: “It’s Hard Out Here for a Pimp”but “A Love that Will Never Grow Old” makes me cry.

• Hustle & Flow: “It’s Hard Out Here for a Pimp“
• Crash: “In the Deep“
• Transamerica: “Travelin’ Thru“

2007: Two factor in play here: Nominating more than one song from a single movie just cancels out the votes (Currently known as the Dreamgirls Rule not to be broken except for the Lion King Exception) and The Coal Miner’s Daughter Rule. Eventual winner: Melissa Etheridge’s “I Need to Wake Up.” What Should Have Won: “And I’m Telling You” from Dreamgirls

• An Inconvenient Truth: “I Need To Wake Up“
• Cars: “Our Town“
• Dreamgirls:”Listen“
• Dreamgirls:”Love You I Do“
• Dreamgirls:”Patience“

2008: I didn’t see Enchanted so that’s 3 out of the 5 I can’t comment on. And for the reasons above (way above), I’m not ever going to see August Rush. So I can only comment on the movie that I did see but let me tell you, Once needs to win.

Look, I’m sure the Enchanted songs were good but they probably won’t win (the Dreamgirls rule). Once was a great contemporary musical. Don’t believe me? How about this as proof? Or this? The music was seamless with the movie and apart from “Lose Yourself,” the only recent nominated song that can step away from the movie and stand on its own. Plus, it’s a great song … a really great song. Eventual Winner: ? Should Win: Once, “Falling Slowly.”

• August Rush: “Raise It Up“
• Enchanted: “Happy Working Song“
• Enchanted: “So Close“
• Enchanted: “That’s How You Know“
• Once: “Falling Slowly“

So you didn’t ask but now you know … a long trip through contemporary Oscar Best Song winners. Enjoy.